You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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