You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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