their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
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dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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