Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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