everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
