Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
