remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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