I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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