If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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