Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
