she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
