she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
