When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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