Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
