Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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