I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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