so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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