the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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