Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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