I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize