do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
