Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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