I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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