Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
