Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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