***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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