yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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