There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
