What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
