he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
