Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
