Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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