Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
