to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
