Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize