It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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