just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
