Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
