I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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