Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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