Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
