I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
