Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
