maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize