Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
