I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize