well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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