I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
