WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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