he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
