that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize