I heard we made out
My cat gives me a boner
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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