What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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