totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
