Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
