is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
