I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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