I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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