Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize